


Keeping Up With The Avengers

by hypochondriacandatrashmouth



Category: Ant-Man - All Media Types, Black Panther - All Media Types, Doctor Strange - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Domestic Avengers, F/M, Humour, Laura and Clint divorced, M/M, Shuri and Peter have a YouTube Channel, The Office - AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-21
Updated: 2019-12-18
Packaged: 2020-01-23 03:22:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 7,708
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18541276
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hypochondriacandatrashmouth/pseuds/hypochondriacandatrashmouth
Summary: Shuri and Peter started a YouTube channel and film the Avengers and pals! It is kind of like "The Office."





	1. Episode #1: Pilot

**Author's Note:**

> Channel Name: Keeping Up With The Avengers  
> Video Title: Episode #1: Pilot  
> Views: 1.2K  
> Comments: 1.2K

_Camera slowly zooms in on the Avengers tower._

_Scene jump-cuts to the lounge where Steve Rogers is seated on the couch, sketching in a book. Then the shot shifts around and focuses on one Bucky Barnes sitting cross-legged on a kitchenette counter, a jumbo bag of Lucky Charms marshmallows in his lap and he's eating them by the handful._

Steve, voiceover: What was Bucky doing eating marshmallows at two in the morning?

_Cuts to show Steve Rogers in a confessional. A name card drifts onto the screen that says:_

**STEVE ROGERS**  
**_Captain America_ **

Steve: I don't know if I can answer that. He's... He's always been like that, I guess? I didn't even know he was doing it, to be honest. I was just focused on my drawing.

_Scene changes to show the Avengers tower's lounge again, and a time slot in the corner of the screen shows that it is 10:34 AM._

_Cuts back to show the kitchenette. In trudges Natasha Romanoff, hair all over the place and a baggy t-shirt on that is obviously one of the guys'. She starts the coffee machine and gets down two mugs. A name card drifts onto the screen that says:_

**NATASHA ROMANOFF**  
**_Natalia Romanov, Black Widow_ **

_A big streak of red falls past the camera and there's a loud THUD and Natasha whips around, wide awake now._

_"PETER!" she screeches and runs closer to the camera and bends down. She reappears onscreen with a young boy with brunet curls. A name card drifts onto the screen:_

**PETER B. PARKER**  
**_Spider-Man_ **

Host, voiceover: What happened in there?

_Cuts to show a nervous Peter in the confessional._

Peter: What do you mean?

Host: You took quite a fall in there.

Peter: Oh! Oh yeah. I was uh. I kinda fell asleep.

Host: You fell asleep?

Peter: Yeah.

_Cuts to show footage of the ceiling from the night before: Peter is up there, clearly asleep._

Peter, voiceover: It happens a lot... when I'm asleep long enough I kinda fall.

_Cuts to show the kitchenette again. Natasha and Peter are now standing by the counter, talking in quiet voices._

_And then in shuffles a tired Scott Lang, half-dragging Clint Barton who has his arms around his neck._

_Scene changes to show shaky iPhone video of Scott outside the Avengers tower._

Host's voice: EXCUSE ME, SIR!

_Scott turns around and smiles kindly._

Scott: Hi. How can I help you?

Host: I have a question.

Scott: Shoot.

Host: Who the **[BLEEP]** are you and why were you in the Avenger's tower?

Scott: I'm Scott... and should you really be saying that word?

_Scene changes once again to show Clint Barton in a confessional. A name card is displayed:_  
**CLINTON BARTON**  
**_Hawkeye, Ronin_ **

Host: Mr. Barton, I have a few questions for you.

Clint: Cool. Go ahead and ask.

Host: Who was that man that was carrying you piggyback style into the kitchen this morning? That wasn't your wife Laura.

Clint: Obviously! That was Scott Lang, the Ant-Man! He and I are really close. And I don't wanna comment on our exact relationship right now.

_Scene changes to show everyone but Scott in the lounge now. Time card states it says: 11:10 AM. Wanda Maximoff is standing in front of the group, holding a small jar._

_Cuts to a closeup of the girl. She looks mad. Name card comes on:_

**WANDA MAXIMOFF**  
**_Scarlet Witch_ **

_"This paprika was full two days ago," Wanda says. "I haven't made anything with paprika. If no one confesses soon, I will kill everyone!"_

_Camera zooms in on a frightened-looking Vision._

_Cuts to Vision in a confessional. Name card states:_

**VISION**  
**_That's literally all he is known by.... He used to be JARVIS but now he is Vision._ **

Vision: It was me. I was trying to cook some more, even though I cannot taste anything at all. I tried the recipes so many times I used the last of the paprika. I meant to order more, but I forgot to.

Host: I see. Thank you, Vision.

Vision: What is this for, Miss Shu—

_Cuts to credits._


	2. Episode #2: Magnets

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Channel Name: Keeping Up With The Avengers  
> Video Title: Episode #2: Magnets  
> Views: 1.1K  
> Comments: 993

_Screen is black and you hear the sound of duct tape. You hear Natasha's voice: "Вы заслуживаете этого, за кражу моей еды." Subtitles appear on the screen, saying: "You deserve this, for stealing my food."_

_Then the intro comes on screen (very FRIENDS-esque)._

_Afterward, the screen goes back to black and there is a loud scream. Cuts to show Clint duct taped to his bed. Time card in the corner of the screen shows that it is 11:25 AM. The man starts struggling against the tape, trying to get up, but to no avail._

_"NATASHAAAAAAAAA!" he screams._

Host, voiceover: What was going through your mind, when you were taped to your own bed?

_Cuts to show Clint in the confessional. Name card appears._

Clint: Well, 1) It's _not_ my bed. It's Scott's for when he's visiting New York to help with missions. 2) I was f– **[BLEEP]** –ing terrified! I didn't know what happened! Then I realised I was duct taped to the bed and I was confused again... Then I remembered I... ate... the last of Nat's pizza last night...

_Cuts to show Natasha in the confessional._

Host: How did you feel when you found out your food had been stolen?

_Natasha says nothing and simply sits there with an amused expression on her face._

_Cuts to the outside of the bathroom. It's quiet for a moment until a CLANG is heard and a loud screech. Scene cuts to show the lounge and kitchenette, where most of the others are._

_"What the hell was that?" someone spoke up._

_There's the sound of rushing footsteps and the camera focuses on the hall door._

_Bucky burst through the opening in only a towel, shower door attached to his metal arm._

_"WHO THOUGHT IT WAS A GOOD **[BLEEP]** –ING IDEA TO MAGNETISE THE SHOWER?" he screamed._

_Everyone was silent before erupting in laughter._

_Cuts to a confessional with Bucky._

_The angle of the shot shows us the man, with with only one arm._

Host: Did you ever get your arm unstuck, Mr. Jesus?

Bucky: No. They're still working on getting it off. And Peter, for the millionth time, don't call me Jesus!

_Cuts to show Tony Stark and Steve Rogers in Stark's lab, one man pulling on the arm and the other pulling on the door._

_Credits roll._


	3. Episode #3: Secrets Revealed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Channel Name: Keeping Up With The Avengers
> 
> Video Title: Episode #3: Secrets Revealed
> 
> Views: 1K
> 
> Comments: 978

_The intro greets us first this time._

_Then it cuts instantly to the lounge where Wanda Maximoff is laying on the couch, eyes closed. Near her, Pepper Potts and Stephen Strange are talking about something, but there is no audio until Wanda's voiceover starts:_

Wanda: I have been informed that it is rude to break into people's minds... So, to learn secrets this is my solution. Fake sleep.

_Cuts to show Wanda in confessional. A name card appears._

Host: Does fake sleeping work?

Wanda: Yes. It works very well. You would be surprised, the things people say around here if they think you are asleep.

_Cuts to a shot of Tony Stark and Natasha Romanoff eating at the counter in the kitchenette._

_Some funky music starts up and the two look at each other, puzzled for a moment before they set down their forks and start to wander around._

_Scene cuts to a shot of a door. It opens to reveal Natasha and she freezes. The camera zooms in on her face, her reaction._

_"Uh... Tony?" she says. "I found it..."_

_Tony comes up beside Natasha, and he stops in his tracks as well, and tilts his head in confusion._

 

_They all stop suddenly and stare at the camera, then at the two Avengers in the doorway._

_Stephen chuckles nervously then says, "Nothing to see here..." The he opens up a portal, then gives them finger guns and back into the portal and disappears._

_Cuts to a later time and shows Tony standing in the hallway, eyes wide as he stares at a paper._

_Then he screams: "WHO THE_ [ **BLEEP** ] _KEEPS BUYING ORANGES AND RINGPOPS? AND WHY THE_ [ **BLEEP** ] _IS THE GROCERY BILL SO_ [ **BLEEP** ] _–ING HIGH?"_

_Cuts to show Steve and Bucky stuffing their faces in the kitchen. They freeze and stare at each other. Steve then swallows and whispers, "Eat the evidence!"_

_Then they continue eating, but faster._

_Then it cuts to the credits._


	4. Episode #4: Karaoke Night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Channel Name: Keeping Up With The Avengers  
> Video Title: Episode #4: Karaoke Night  
> Views: 3.2K  
> Comments: 3.3K

The intro greets us.

Then it cuts to show us the bar in the Avengers Tower. A few of the adults are gathered around the counter while others are scattered about in seats and on the couches.

Sitting on one of the couches is Peter Parker, who is sipping on a Capri-Sun. His name card appeared. He is looking off into the distance for a moment until his eyes flicker toward the camera and his face turns pink and he puts a hand over the lens with a giggle.

Then the camera swung around to focus on one of the other couches, where two male figures were practically on top of one another. The shot began to slowly zoom in and one of the men turned his head away from the other and took a swig from a bottle: Clint. His name card appeared. He made eye contact with the person behind the camera and as he took another drink, he raised his middle finger. A dark-skinned hand appears from around the camera and returns the gesture. The other man—of course it's Scott—leans forward to see around Clint and grins and waves at the camera.

The hand from the camera waved back excitedly.

Then it cut to show Tony Stark standing on a platform in the same room. He had a glass in one hand, and a mic in the other. A name card drifts onto the screen.

"So I was thinking," the man was saying, "Why don't we play a game?"

"That's sounds very"–camera pans over to Clint–"much like the beginning of a horror movie!"

"I'm talking about karaoke, dumbass," Tony said. Then he looked at the group as a whole and said, "Who wants to go first?"

Peter started to raise his hand, but lowered it again quickly, nervous. The camera picked up on it.

Sam Wilson suddenly announced: "Scott volunteers!"

Scott whipped around to face the man. "What?! No! I-"

"Mr. Lang! Come on up," Tony said. He waved the man up to the stage with the hand holding the mic.

Scott pouted and looked at Clint and whispered something that the camera couldn't pick up on. The camera panned away from the two and then the footage cuts suddenly.

It shows Scott, holding the mic now, looking at something, looking very focused. Then he gasped loudly, eyes wide. "No way! That's on here?!" he exclaimed.

"That thing's got basically everything," Rhodey called up to the man.

"Does it have Deepthroat on here?" Scott asked.

"DO NOT SING THAT ONE! I SWEAR TO GOD!" Tony shrieked.

"I won't, I won't," Scott said. "God!"

"Hurry up, Lang!" someone shouted.

"Alright, alright," Scott said, then pressed a button and music started. Peter perked up and looked at the man on the platform as the title of the song and the artist's name appeared on the screen behind him.

"S.I.M.P. (Squirrels In My Pants) by 2 Guyz n the Parque" it said.

Tony face palmed as Scott began singing. Clint leaned forward on the couch with a wide smile and heart eyes. Steve and Bucky both looked confused. Natasha pet Clint’s hair while sighing.

“SQUIRRELS! SQUIRRELS!” Scott shrieked into the mic.

Scott gets really into the song, throwing in some weird dance moves and facial expressions. A wild Loki and Hela had appeared, and Loki was tempted to magick up some copies of the man singing (is that what that's called? That's not singing) as backup dancers and singers, but he was denied it.

“S-I-M-P! SQUIRRELS IN MY PANTS!”

The song soon ended and Clint and Peter clapped enthusiastically while the others slow-clapped.

“Who’s next?” Tony asked quickly. Scott stayed on the platform, waving the mic a little.

Natasha looked around the group and sighs. “I will, I guess,” she says, “if no one else will.” She gets off the back of the couch, and walks up to the platform and takes the mic from Scott and went over to the machine to select a song. After a second, she stops and turns to the others.

“Hey, маленький паук,” she says, and subtitles appear to translate (“LITTLE SPIDER”) “Why don't you pick my song?”

Peter blushes a little and stutters out, “You- you're serious, Ms. Romanoff?” And the Black Widow nods. Peter then stands up and hurried up onto the platform and goes through the song selections with Natasha. A song is eventually chosen and the younger arachnid hero hurried back off and to his seat.

The music started up and the title and artist of the song appeared on the screen: “Black Widow by Iggy Azalea feat. Rita Ora”.

Natasha raised the mic to her mouth, and she began to sing once the lyrics started up on the screen:

“I'm gonna love ya…. Until you hate me! Gonna show ya…. What's really crazy!”

Peter looked really pleased with himself for choosing this song for the super hero. Everyone else looked impressed at Natasha’s voice. It was much much better than Scott’s.

“I'm gonna love ya, I'm gonna love ya, gonna love ya, gonna love ya” Natasha took in a deep breath “like a Black Widow, baby!”

Then the rap part started. And it was very impressive.

The camera shook a bit, then it appeared to be closer to the platform than before. The shot drifted over smoothly to the person who had held it before, a new face to the show: Shuri. She was dancing along, grinning widely. Then she opened her eyes and make eye contact with the camera and reached out and pushed the lense away from her, causing the shot to get shaky again. Laughter could be heard.

The song ended and Natasha passed the mic off to the next person, who was Steve. The rest of the team was after him.

They performed as follows:

Steve - The National Anthem  
Thor - Immigrant Song  
Tony - Iron Man  
Stephen - It's Magic  
Loki (since they arrived) - Paint It Black  
Clint - Old Town Road (Remix)  
Sam - Honey, I'm Good.  
Peter - I Want It That Way  
Shuri - Lift Yourself  
Rhodey - Slippin’ Into Darkness  
T’Challa (as a dare by Shuri) - Africa

The video ended with applause from everyone, and a black screen faded in with the following text:

**NEXT EPISODE WILL BE THE AVENGERS READING COMMENTS.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comment comments for the Avengers to read in the next update!


	5. Episode #5: The Avengers Read Your Comments

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Channel Name: Keeping Up With The Avengers  
> Video Title: Episode #5: The Avengers Read Your Comments  
> Views: 4.7K  
> Comments: 5.6K

The intro does not greet us this time. Instead, the shots jump-cut from Avenger to Avenger, each by themselves save for Peter Parker and Shuri, and Natasha Romanoff, Clint Barton, and Scott Lang.

  
Then finally, it all comes back to Tony Stark. His name card appears on the screen and he is holding some sheets of paper.

“Wait– what do I say, kid?” he asks whoever is behind the camera. Then the shot cuts again and he is looking at the camera.

“Hi, I'm Tony Stark and the rest of the team and I will be reading your comments,” he says, then looks down at the papers.

“Alright. First comment. It's from ‘chipminkle’.” He clears his throat then reads: “‘I don't know how Tony Stark managed to make his ass look so good in the Ironman suit but Thank God For It.’” He looked up and winked at the camera. “Thank you. I'm often told my ass is my best feature.”

The shot cut to Natasha, Clint, and Scott. Clint was holding some papers. He read something from it as name cards appeared on the screen for all three heroes.

“User ‘howlingrogers’ says ‘Who knew Hawkeye could sing!’”

Scott looked at the camera and shouted, “I knew! I knew he could sing! He sings all the time.”

Clint playfully hit Scott’s arm. “Shut up.”

Natasha sighed and rolled her eyes and muttered something the camera couldn't pick up on.

The shot jump-cuts to Wanda, who reads off a paper. “‘Leslie_Cruz21’ says, ‘Did Wanda ever find out who wasted all of the paprika? Lol!’” Wanda lowers the paper and nods. “It was Vis.”

The shot jump-cuts to Clint, Scott, and Natasha again.

“Leslie_Cruz21 says, ‘How did Clint get out of bed after Natasha left him there? I can't imagine staying somewhere for too long,’” Clint reads off. He sighs and shakes his head. “Scott had to help cut me out.”

“Longest ten minutes ever,” Scott says. “She used Gorilla duck-tape.”

“Duct tape, Scotty,” Clint said.

“No. It's du–”

Jump-cut to Bucky. “‘How long is it going to take for Buck to get his arm back? I hope soon?!’” He holds up his metal hand. “I got it back. Happy? I sure am.”

Jump cuts back to Tony. “Leslie_Cruz21 says, ‘I really like oranges and Ring-Pops!! BTW, did Tony ever find out who bought all of the oranges and Ring-Pops??!’” He looks dead-into the camera. “You bet your ass I did. It was Scott and Clint. They've been doing some freaky stu–”

Cuts him off and goes to Scott, Natasha, and Clint. Scott has visibly moved from his seat to Clint’s lap, the latter having his arms wrapped around the former’s waist. Scott has the papers this time, and he reads: “‘Lol!!’ –That's with two exclamation points– ‘I really wish Deepthroat was on there!’ –it was, Birdbrains and I checked when everyone was done, and we were really drunk– ‘If it was, would Scott actually sing it?’”

Clint burst out laughing. “You bet he would! He knows every word, but skips a few.”

“Because I'm a good person, butt-head!”

Scott passes the paper to Natasha, who skims over it before reading, “‘Dang! Natasha sings good!!! Where did she learn to sing so well! Bravo!!’ Firstly, thank you, Leslie. Secondly, I've been singing my whole life.”

She looks at the paper again and passes it back to Scott. “I believe these next Ines are for you two lovebirds?”

Scott and Clint both look at the paper and Clint says, “It's a conversation. You wanna take one and I take the other?”

“Sure,” Scott says.

“It's a conversation between Leslie_Cruz21 and Yeet25, and a few others get involved at the end...,” Clint explains to the camera before looking down at the paper again.

Clint: Are Scott and Clint dating??

Scott: I hope they are they are so cute together!

Clint: Give me a G!

Scott: G!

Clint: Give me a O!

Scott: O!

Clint: Give me a A!

Scott: A!

Clint: Give me a L!

Scott: L!

Clint: Give me a S!

Scott: S!

Clint: And what does that spell?

Scott, very enthusiastically: GOALS!!

Scott shakes the paper a bit while Clint starts talking to the camera. “I've said it before, and I'll say it again, I don't want to comment on mine and Scott’s relationship at the moment. And if we were dating, it seems like we already know what the reaction would be… Pretty positive from a few people.”

Scott has made a paper airplane with the Comment Paper and he pokes Clint’s cheek with the pointy tip.

“Keep in mind, there may be hate comments out there,” he says.

The camera cuts to Steve.

“‘Is Steve Rogers aware that he has the body proportions of a Dorito chip?’ Yes I am! Several people have pointed it out. Shuri and Peter were the first to do so. Tony was second.” An open bag of Doritos is passed to him from around the camera. Steve accepts one and eats it and grins. “I taste good!”

The camera cuts to Peter and Shuri. Shuri snatches the paper from Peter and reads it. “‘Is it comfortable sleeping on the ceiling?’”

“Yes it is!” Peter grins. “It surprisingly is!”

The shot cuts back to Natasha, Clint and Scott. Natasha has the paper.

“‘is the Black Widow in a relationship?’” Natasha reads. She stared blankly at the camera for a scary amount of time. Even Clint and Scott looked uncomfortable. A few moments later, the scene cuts to a split screen with Bucky and Steve.

In unison, they both read: “‘Is Stucky real?’”

“Do you want it to be?” Steve asked.

“Is that a real question?” Bucky asked.

Steve hopped out of his seat and ran off camera.

It returns to a regular shot, no split-screen. It shows Steve running through the halls and into a room, where Bucky was seated. Steve tackles him off his seat and onto the ground. A black screen with a red stamp appeared, and it reads: CENSORED

It cuts to show Thor. “‘What is it like on Asgard?’ Asgard is gone, Midgardian. I am sorry. But there is New Asgard, now! That's fun…”

The shot cuts away from a tearing-up Thor to Steve, who is seated once again and has messed up hair. He reads from the paper, “‘I can't believe Captain [ **BLEEP** ]ing America sang the National Anthem for karaoke night! What a legend!’” He merely grinned proudly at the camera.

The camera cut to Bruce. “‘Would Bruce like to comment on the obvious thing between him and Thor?’ You mean my fiancé?” Heavy cut to Stephen Strange.

“‘What is the true purpose of the cape?’ Levitation. It's right in the name. ‘Are you dating Tony?’ Everyone thinks I am so sure.’”

Cuts to Rhodey. “‘What is your current hero name? I know you like to change it up a bit.’ Thank you for noticing! Right now we're going with Iron Patriot.”

Cuts to Sam. “‘How does it feel to be beaten for the role of Captain America’s best friend by a 100 year old man?’ Screw you, for one. For another thing, I thought they were dating?”

Cuts to Shuri and Peter. Peter reads off the paper for Shuri. “‘Who is the new girl?’”

“Hi! I'm Shuri, King T’Challa’s smarter sister. I'm one of the creators of this show and I'm usually behind the camera. I also edit everything,” Shuri answers the question.

The video fades out and the credits roll, but it fades back to footage. It shows Shuri walking down a hallway.

“I'm trying to find Clint and Scott so we can film a q&a video– or an ‘Avengers Read Your Comments’ video,” she says to the camera. There's a faint noise from down the hall and Shuri stops walking. She has a confused look on her face.

“What the hell?” she whispers. She slowly walks down the hall, turning the camera around to show the hallway in front of her. As she got closer to a door, the noise got louder. It was evident now that it was moans. It sounded like Scott…

Shuri turned around and ran down the hall. “I'll get them later,” she said frantically.

End video.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you catch that at the end?


	6. Episode #6: Cereal & Aging

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Channel name: Keeping Up With The Avengers  
> Video Title: Episode #6: Cereal & Aging  
> Views: 986  
> Comments: 1.2K

The intro plays.

Cuts to the kitchenette where Clint is standing at the counter eating cereal. He looked like he was dead inside. His name card appeared. The video continues like this for a few awkward minutes until Natasha walks in and stops in the doorway. Her name card appeared.

“What are you doing?” she asks slowly.

“Eating cereal,” Clint replies. Then he looks right at her and as the life drains from his face, he continues: “Eating cereal with orange juice.”

Then he started crying. Natasha’s eyes widened in surprise.

“Clint, pull yourself together. What's wrong?” she said.

“Scott’s mad at me,” he whined.

“Wha- Why's he mad at you?”

“I stole the blankets last night apparently! And when we woke up, he wouldn't talk to me except to say, ‘Blanket Hog.’”

“Clint. What the hell?”

“I'm a bad boyfriend!” Clint wailed.

“Shut up.”

“But-”

“No.” Natasha took a deep breath. “You're not a bad boyfriend. It's just a mere misunderstanding. I'm positive.”

Clint pouted for a moment before nodding. “Okay. Okay. Sure.”

The scene cuts to show Tony walking toward a door. There were muffled noises coming from behind it as he paused then hesitantly turned the handle. He pushed the door open and froze in the doorway.

“What the **[BLEEP]** is going on?”

The camera shifted to show Stephen aging and de-aging at a rapid rate.

“I” —De-ages— “don't” —ages— “know!”

Tony sighed and walks in and closes the door.

Credits roll.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Send in ideas for future updates!


	7. Episode #7: Out and About With the Avengers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Channel Name: Keeping Up With The Avengers  
> Video Title: Episode #7: Out and About With the Avengers  
> Views: 20k  
> Comments: 35K

Shuri’s Voiceover: Today on Keeping Up With The Avengers

Montage begins:   
-Shows Tony as he says, “Pep’s flying back in today so why don't we leave a few hours early?”  
-Cuts to show everyone walking around outside in the city.  
-Intense music plays over footage of Clint screaming at someone.

Screen goes black.

Intro starts.

After the intro, it shows a time lapse of everyone entering the kitchen. After a moment, it cuts to show Tony, the shot being filmed from the counter.

“Pep’s flying back in today. We're all gonna go greet her at the airport, so why don't we leave a few hours early?” he says before taking a drink of coffee.

Everyone grumbles responses and shrugs, still not fully awake.

Shot cuts to show Clint and Scott running to the door; they are no longer in pajamas. Clint is wearing a rainbow tie-dyed cat shirt that Scott had worn in a past episode and Scott had on a jacket that was obviously Clint’s telling from how big it was on him.

Clint throws open the door and there are some people standing on the other side. The shot shifts to show who it is: Laura with her and Clint’s kids and Maggie with Cassie. The shot cuts away after the dads hug their children.

The new shot shows the whole group (kids included) walking down the busy city streets of New York.

“Okay, let's meet up at Starbucks in three hours,” Tony said. “Everyone run free but stay in your groups!”

“Okay, Dad,” Peter said and picked up a little brown haired girl who couldn't have been older than four. “Come on, Morgan! Let's go find a toy store with Shuri.”

“I don't think so,” Tony said. “Not by yourselves. I'm going with you.”

“Okay, fine, Mr. Stark,” Peter sighed.  
The shot jump cuts to shaky iPhone footage on selfie-view, showing us Bruce Banner.

“Is this recording now?” he asked. Wanda’s face came onto the screen and she nodded.

“Yes. It is recording.”

“Okay, good.”

The shot gets shaky again and then Natasha’s face takes up the screen. “Okay. Where are we going first, everyone?” she asked.

“I found a Korean recipe a few days ago,” said a voice—Vision—offscreen. “Perhaps we could go to a grocery store to purchase the ingredients?”

Natasha thought for a moment before nodding. “Sounds good.”

“There's an H Mart a few blocks from here,” another voice—Rhodey—said offscreen. “They'll have everything.”

“To the store!” Natasha cheered and proceeded to start running ahead of the group. The shot was blurry and shaky as she ran with the camera.

“Natasha! Wait up!” Bruce’s voice could be heard.

“Yeah! Some of us can't run yet! We're still getting used to our tools!” Rhodey’s voice called after the red-head next.

Nat stopped running and pouted at the camera, then huffed and adjusted something around her neck—a small golden arrow necklace.

“Ready?” she asked and looked around.

“Yeah. No running, please,” Rhodey said, taking the camera from Natasha, who frowned in disappointment and glared at him.

Rhodey held the camera up so everyone was in the shot. “We're about four blocks away from the store. I'm keeping up at a slow pace because of my legs.”

“Yeah. Offered to wheel you around but you said no,” Natasha said.

“Shut up,” Rhodey said. “You would push me into oncoming traffic.”

“Maybe not.”

“I don't want to test that theory.”

The shot then jump cuts to show a new face; a girl with dark brown hair around the age of ten. She grins at the camera and then turns it around and aims it up at someone—Scott.

“Daddy I fixed it!” the girl’s voice rings out.

Scott looked down and grinned widely. “You did? Good job, Peanut!”

The camera moved closer to the man and he took it, his hand covering up the lens for a moment before moving and the lighting takes a moment to readjust. Then it zooms in slowly on the back of someone’s head and Scott snickers. “Clint, turn around.”

The person—Clint—did so, and stuck out his tongue.

“I can zoom in really far on this thing,” Scott said.

The shot became a blurred close up of Clint’s eyes.

“Scott, stop,” Clint said, shoving the camera away.

Scott laughed and zoomed back out. “Sorry, sorry. Just having fun.”

“Where are we going?” a little voice asked. Clint looked down and picked up a child—a little boy who had a big ‘N’ on his shirt.

“Where would you like to go, Nate?” Clint asked the boy.

“Toys!”

“Toy store it is,” Scott said.

“Let's go!” Clint said, and manoeuvred Nate to be on his back piggyback-style and proceeded to carry him down the street, the other four trailing behind.

The shot cut to show the toy store sign. “Let's go, kids,” Clint’s voice said in a serious tone.

Then the shot jumps to show Thor, T’Challa, Sam, Steve, and Bucky walking around a store. Bucky is feeling the texture of a fur sweater as the camera—held by Sam (as shown in the mirrored walls)—zooms in slowly on him.

The shot changes and shows T’Challa looking at suit, then there’s the sound of someone clearing their throat and Sam turns around with the camera. Steve.

“Hey, Sam… I need help…” the Freedom-Man said

“With what?” Sam asked, confused.

Steve pointed out of shot at something.

The camera turned to see where Steve was pointing and —

“BARNES! GET OFF THAT SHELF!”

“I AM THE WOLF KING!” Bucky screamed back. He had somehow obtained a puppy and was stripped down to his boxers.

“Are you high?” Sam asked.

T’Challa joined him and Steve. “Where did he get that dog?” he asked.

-CUT-

“Dammit,” Rhodey said. “It's closed.”

“Regular grocery store… here we come,” Natasha said.

The shot jumps to show Bruce staring into the lense. “I think it's working,” he said, then turned it around to show Nat and Wanda talking.

“Miss. Maximoff,” Vision spoke.

Wanda looked away from Nat. “Yes?”

“Could you please go find some milk?”

Wanda nodded and hurried off.

The camera suddenly got shaky aaaaaaannnnnnddddddd JUMP.

The camera, now being held by Natasha, was focused on Bruce and Rhodey. They were arguing over something.

There is a lot of speech being BLEEPed out.

Vision is standing in the background, staring blankly at the bickering men. His blankness spoke, “Why…?”

Wanda returned and the bickering cut off. The 19-year-old had… not milk, but armfuls of Oreo packs.

“Wanda no,” Rhodey said. “Vision said milk, not Oreos.”

“But we’re out!” Wanda pouted.

“No,” Rhodey frowned.

“You go get the milk. We need Oreos!”

“No we don't!” Bruce shook his head.

“Yes we do!” Wanda shrieked.

“Okay, okay, fine!” Bruce and Rhodey sighed.

Wanda grinned and hugged the cookies closer to her chest.

Vision looked right into the camera as though he were on The Office.

—CUT—

Tony is looking at the camera as though he wants anything other than to be there.

“Why did I think this was a good idea?” he mumbled.

“We had time to kill, if I remember correctly, and you wanted to bring everyone with us,” Stephen said pointedly.

“Shut up,” Tony glared.

He picked up a package of prank supplies and frowned at it. “I could make this more durable and less obvious! What kind of cheap bullsh[BLEEP] is this?”

“Shit.”

The camera shot over to show Morgan Stark standing there with an innocent grin on her face.

“Morg, no,” Tony shook his head at the girl. “Don't say that word. That’s Mommy’s word.”

Jump cuts. There’s laughter—Shuri—behind the camera as Peter climbs the walls of the store. An employee is standing off to the side, half-in the shot. Their expression read as though they were not sure if what they were seeing was real or something to do with one of the joke sets the store sold.

Another jump and Peter is on the ground again, no longer climbing the walls. He’s with Morgan and Tony. He is looking through a joke book and smiling.

“Hey, Mr. Stark?” the teenager said, glancing up.

“Yeah, kid?” Tony replied.

“This place is so cool! It’s almost like Weasley’s Wizarding Wheezes from Harry Potter!”

“What?”

~CUT~

The groups had met back up. Cassie looked smug and Clint and Scott looked flustered.

The whole group was walking down the street, heading for the vehicles they had driven out. They were soon stopped by a group of excited-looking people.

“Hello there,” Steve said politely to the crowd.

“Hello, Mr. Captain America Steve Rogers, sir,” a young boy at the front of the group replied.

Steve glanced to the camera that is still very much filming and smiled a little. He crouched in front of the kid and started talking to him. The other heroes talked with some of the others in the group.

Then eventually, shouting started.

The camera cuts over to an angry Clint and random guy and a worried-looking Scott.

Then it cut to a confessional with Clint.

Interviewer (Peter): Mr. Barton, why were you yelling at the man?

Clint: Why do you think I yelled at him? He was being an asshole to Scott!

Peter: How so?

Clint: HE SAID ANT-MAN ISN’T A REAL AVENGER!

The scene cut to the gang at the airport. They're all gathered together in front of the escalator. Waiting.

Then she appears. Pepper Potts.

“WELCOME BACK!”

End credits. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> LEAVE COMMENTS TELLING ME IDEAS FOR FUTURE UPDATES.


	8. Episode #8: Tony Gets Peter A Gift

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Channel Name: Keeping Up With The Avengers   
> Video Title: Episode #8: Tony Gets Peter A Gift  
> Views: 8.9K  
> Comments: 21K

_[For some reason the intro has changed to be more Brooklyn Nine-Nine esque]_

 

_The shot opens on the floor, the camera is shaking. There’s a lot of giggling and then the camera moves up and we’re greeted by Tony’s face taking up the whole screen. He grins and then it cuts to a confessional._

 

**Shuri (interviewer):** So, what’s the secret?

 

**Tony** : Peter’s always wanted a dog, and he and May don’t have room for one at their apartment. So I told her if we got him one, we can keep it at the tower. She agreed to it. So I got him a puppy. 

 

**Shuri** : That’s really sweet of you. You certainly are the Iron Dad. 

 

**Tony** : You know it!

 

_Cuts back and Tony shouts something at FRIDAY, who calls Peter down._

 

“ _Peter Parker to the foyer. Mr. Stark has a surprise for you.”_

 

_The elevator doors opened a moment later and Peter stepped out. Tony turned to face him, the pit bull puppy in his arms. Peter gasped and hurried over._

 

_“Is that a chicken?!” he said in his best Kylie Jenner impression._

 

_Shuri stepped out behind Peter as Tony face palmed. Shuri started wheezing and cackling, too busy doing that to finish the meme._

 

_There was laughter behind the camera as Tony looked at the lense and covered it with his hand. “Rhodes,” he said, “Turn it off.”_

 

_There was more laughter until the camera cut off._

 

_It cut to a steady frame. Peter was on the floor, crying happy tears and laughed as the pit bull puppy ran around him excitedly and licked him all over the face._

 

_Tony was watching Peter and the puppy fondly._

 

“ _What’re you gonna name her, Peter?” Tony asked._

 

_Peter grabbed the puppy and hugged her close and scritched behind her ears. “Um….”_

 

_He looked at the dog and grinned. “She looks like a Tessa!”_

 

_A quick montage of Peter and Tessa playing around._

 

_Then the screen fades to black, and white letters in comic sans fades in:_

 

**!!!1111!!!1!11!1!1!!1!welcome to the family tessa!!!!1!!!11!!111!!!!!**

-End-


	9. Episode #9: Paint War

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Channel Name: Keeping Up With The Avengers  
> Video Title: Episode #9: Paint War  
> Views: 4.9K  
> Comments: 2.6K

Opens with the B99-esque intro. 

Then shows a blurry shot of the floor and a bare foot. With the shot still shaky and blurred, the camera is raised and turned around to show us who is holding it: Scott Lang. He started talking breathlessly. “It’s day six. They still haven’t given up. If you see this, please send help.” Then a loud shriek comes from a little ways away. The camera is turned away from Scott’s face then he starts moving, running down a hall of the tower. 

A figure was running down the hall; one frantic Clint Barton. Out of the bathroom came a naked—censored due to YouTube—Sam Wilson. 

“What the hell happened?” Scott asked. 

“HE SHOT ME IN THE BALLS!” Sam screamed. 

Scott burst into laughter.

[Out of video: A few hours after the video got posted, “#heshotmeintheballs” is trending on Twitter.]

***

Security cameras in the hall caught Scott and Clint running into a room, obviously holding hands. There’s an unintelligible mutter before it cuts to shaky hand-held footage. It’s obvious it’s being filmed from the ceiling, so Peter’s the one holding the camera. There’s the sound of a soft ... almost “thwip!” noise, then we see both of Peter’s hands. He has webbed the camera to his forehead. 

“Ready?” we hear out of shot. Peter looks down and there’s Natasha, holding her paintball gun. 

“Yeah, Ms. Black Widow Ma’am!” Peter replies, then the shot starts moving—he’s crawling on the ceiling. He looks back and we see Natasha hurry up to the door and press her back against the wall. She looked up at Peter then nodded. 

A web enters the frame and hits the doorknob. Peter tugs and the knob turns and the door swings open. There are distant noises heard coming from inside the room…

Peter crawls along the ceiling into the room. He tilted his head in a way that showed an upside down view of Scott and Clint on a bed, aggressively making out. 

Just as Scott’s shirt was pulled off, a red paintball came from out of shot and hit him in the back and Peter fired a blue paintball, hitting Clint’s shirt-covered chest. Both men pulled away from each other quickly and looked around to find where they’d been hit from, and the camera starts moving back toward the door. 

“PETER!” Scott yells at the same time Clint screams a string of swears at Natasha. 

The shot jump cut to Tony’s lab. Pepper is sitting across from him at the desk. It’s filmed via security cams. Tony looks to be half asleep. Pepper looked exhausted. Then she raises a paintball gun and shoots Tony’s chest, leaving a royal blue-purple splotch. Her husband jolts awake and grabs his own paintball gun and gets Pepper right in the chest, leaving a metallic gold paint splatter. They went back and forth shooting at each other until Tony dozed off mid-pull on the trigger again. 

Pepper sighed when she saw him zonk out and she got up and went to find a blanket. She came back in and covered him with it. 

Scene cuts. 

Wanda and Shuri are circling each other like two cowboys in a western movie about to have a shoot out. 

“Three,” said a voice behind the camera—T’Challa, “two… one… Shoot!”

Wanda and Shuri raises their paintball guns and fired at the same time. They hit each other. 

“Dammit!” Shuri groaned. “I lost.”

“We both did,” Wanda noted. 

Shuri sighed and wiped at the scarlet paint splatter on her chest while Wanda merely looked down at the dark blueish-purple splot on her stomach. 

The shot cut to show everyone gathered in the living room. 

“So,” said Steve, “Who won?”

“I think Peter and Natasha did?” Pepper yawned. 

“No,” Peter shook his head. 

“We got ambushed in the hall after we got Clint and Scott,” Natasha informed. 

“By whom?” Steve asked. 

A black ball of paint flew in from out of frame and nailed Steve right in the gut.

He stared at it then looked at the others with wide eyes. “Who had the black paint?”

“Bucky,” everyone said in unison. 

-End Credits-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! Comment ideas for this if you have any!
> 
> Follow my Twitter: @xconwombats   
> or my AU account on Twitter: @giveusantman3


	10. Episode #10: Life in the Tower From the Eyes of a Roomba

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Channel Name: Keeping Up With The Avengers  
> Video Title: Episode #10: Life in the Tower From the Eyes of a Roomba  
> Comments: 43.2K  
> Views: 38.9K

No intro for some reason. Just shows a view slightly tilted up from the floor, a name card in the lower corner blinks on and off repeatedly (“Roomba 1”), and a soft humming noise as the camera drifts around. The roomba moves into the kitchenette, which is when two people hurry in and the Roomba spins around and we see that it’s Scott and Clint. 

 

Scott heaves himself up onto the counter—with Clint’s help—and the two immediately start making out as the Roomba turns and drifts down the hall. 

 

As it made its way down the hall, someone stepped out of a room and almost kicked the machine. 

 

“Teddy’s on the loose!” the person—Bucky—shouted. 

 

Another voice—Shuri—from behind the Roomba called out as well: “And he’s searching for blood!” 

 

“Fuck off!” came yet another voice. Steve. 

 

“LANGUAGE, CAP!” came Tony’s voice from a closed door the machine whirred passed. 

 

The shot cuts to show Natasha’s face filling the screen. She grinned widely. “Okay! The camera’s working!”

 

In the corner of the screen, we see the name “Roomba 2” blinking repeatedly. 

 

Natasha set down the machine and we’re met with Roomba 1, with a knife and balloon taped to its top on either side of the camera. Roomba 2’s camera shook a bit until a blade appeared in the corner of the screen and it stops shaking. 

 

“Ready?” Peter asked.

 

“Set!” came Sam’s voice. 

 

“Release the Roombas!” Tony bellowed. 

 

The Roombas whirred toward each other and spun and missed the balloons. 

 

The shots have been edited to look like a western fight scene, sound effects included. 

 

The Avengers’ cheering can be heard. 

 

Then Roomba 2 stabbed Roomba 1’s balloon and it popped loudly. Then Roomba 1’s knife hit the other’s balloon and it popped as well. 

 

“VICTORY!” Shuri cheered loudly. 

 

The screen cuts to black and rocky text appears reading “SUBSCRIBE TO ROOMBA WARS ON YOUTUBE”.

 

-End- 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don’t forget to comment requests!


	11. Episode #11: Poker Night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Channel Name: Keeping Up With The Avengers  
> Video Title: Episode #11: Poker Night  
> Comments: 79K  
> Views: 1.1M

B99-inspired intro. 

 

Black screen with blinking text: “THERE ARE NO MINORS IN THIS EPISODE DUE TO ADULT CONTENT.”

 

-Cut-

 

Shaky camera footage of the adult Avengers setting up something on the coffee table and Thor making alcoholic drinks. 

 

“What’re you making, Thor?” came Scott’s voice from behind the camera. 

 

“A Bloody Mary for myself,” the god of thunder replied. 

 

Scott made an impressed noise and Thor grinned widely. 

 

“I shall make you one as well, Man of Ants!”

 

“Thanks man.”

 

-Cut-

 

Literally just a closeup of Steve’s butt. 

 

“Barnes,” came Tony’s voice, sounding kind of distant, like he was at the other end of the room. “Stop filling the camera memory with porn!”

 

-Cut-

 

A higher shot, like from a camera stuck to the wall. The adults are gathered around the coffee table now. Clint is dealing cards while Rhodes is setting up stacks of poker chips. Once set, the group starts playing.

 

About ten minutes is just them playing the game until Thor somehow runs out of cards and bellows, “UNO!”

 

There is a loud groan from one of the others and Bruce Banner softly says to Thor, “Wrong game, darling.”

 

“Oh. I thought we were playing the Midgardian game of Uno,” Thor said, and took another sip of his Bloody Mary.

 

“We’re playing poker, Point Break,” Tony said.

 

“What’s that?” the thunder god asks.

 

Tony groaned again and covered his face.

 

-Cut-

 

Natasha is holding the camera and frowning at it, looking annoyed. “I can’t stand these men.”

 

“This is what I get for being the only girl in the group that agrees to come to these hangouts,” she adds and turns the camera to show Tony snoring on the table, drool coming from his mouth. In the background, Clint is getting handsy with Scott, who is trying to do a card trick despite being really drunk. Thor and Bruce are making out against the far wall. 

 

The camera turns back to show Nat rolling her eyes and then it cuts. 

 

-Cut-

 

“I did it!” Scott shouts. He holds a fan of poker cards out to Rhodes. “Pick a card!”

 

Rhodes picks a card. 

 

“Okay, now memorise it.”

 

Rhodes does so, looking bored. 

 

Clint is still being handsy with Scott. 

 

Scott takes the card back from Rhodes. “Baby stop. Not yet. Let me do this trick.”

 

“But I don’ wanna wait!” Clint pouts. 

 

“Two minutes,” Scott slurs his words. “Two minutes then we can go.”

 

Rhodes rolls his eyes again. “Come on, Lang.”

 

“Is… This your card?” Scott holds up a card. 

 

“Sure,” Rhodes says, then looks at the camera like he’s on The Office as Scott grins and claps his hands excitedly. 

 

Clint suddenly looks like he’s been given the answers to the universe. “How’d you do that?”

 

“Magic!” Scott yells, throwing his hands up. 

 

Then Clint tackles him and the camera falls over and shows them getting really handsy. 

 

-Cut-

 

Sam is trying to get as many Cheerios in Bucky’s mouth as he can. 

 

Steve is cheering him on with invisible pom-poms. 

 

T’Challa is passed out on the back of the couch like a house cat. 

 

Natasha is curled in the corner drinking from a flask. 

 

There is some distant moaning. 

 

“Bruce, Thor. Please take your boning elsewhere,” Nat groans. 

 

“Not us,” Bruce says, and the camera turns to show the engaged men sitting at the bar.

 

“Then who—”

 

“Lang, Barton, keep it in your pants for once. I’m begging you!” Sam whines. 

 

Nat points to the two who are grinding against each other on the floor. 

 

“Then who the ever loving FUCK is fucking right now?” Sam yells. 

 

“Oh fuck. Oh god. Harder, Stephen. Hard—” there’s a cry of pleasure. 

 

Nat and Sam and Thor and Bruce’s eyes widen. 

 

“That answers that question,” Natasha says slowly. 

 

“Strange and Tony…”

 

Some noises come from the couple who are getting even friskier on the carpet. 

 

“Okay I’m out,” Sam said and throws down the pillow he was holding and heads for the elevator. 

 

-Cut to black screen-

 

White text in Comic Sans font appears: This episode was edited and posted by Tony Stark. He insisted due to the adult content. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please don’t hesitate to reply with ideas or requests for future updates!


End file.
